December 2nd, 2008

With myself right now, which, as I post this is stupid because I know I 'm going to go through with it, so I ought to stop right now, but there is that delete button so It could actually go the other way, but it won't.

Again, I am so glad My wife doesn't read this blog.

A few years ago we got a Christmas tree stand that turns our tree. It works really neat because you also get to have lights on your tree.





So, she, being my wife, unboxed the stand and unbagged (She now stores the tree in 50 gallon trash bags, being a fake tree) the tree. She assembled the tree in the stand and said something under her breath. She then wondered aloud why the tree wasn't spinning. I glanced over and the tree stood its 7 feet tall in the stand, not moving. She then unstacked the tree and glared at the stand. She reassembled the tree, then removed the top two pats and just had the bottom part in, or at least what she thought was the bottom part. She then took the bottom part out and had me tell her which Part I though was the bottom. I told her and she reinserted it back into the stand.

I watched as the tree stood there, still, even though she is pushing buttons like crazy on the remote. Oh yeah, there is a remote control that controls the tree. One button for this cheesy Christmas music to come from the base, one to turn the lights on and off, and the top button that turns the motor on and of to turn the tree. Nothing. Nada. Cheesy Music, sure, so we got power to the stand. So I bring forth my technical expertise and start to disassemble what I can, which wasn't much. I found a fuse taped to the power cord and then found the housing for the Fuse. The fuse checked out fine. I reassembled what little I disassembled and gave her back the stand. She placed the bottom of the tree back into the stand and started pressing the bottom two buttons like crazy. The music came on and off and the tree didn't move.

Well, I noticed in the directions, that the top button on the remote was the button to get the tree to turn. I casually asked for the remote and gently pushed the top button, with her watching my every move. The tree started rotating.

"I thought the middle button was to get the tree moving."

"So you never pushed the top button?"

"Nope."

I love my wife to pieces. All that time and energy ...

July 25th, 2008

My wife has become a big fan of Hulu - (www.hulu.com) - ever since I sent her a link in an email message a few weeks back. She has gotten to where she will regularly report to me what is going on in Hulu and what new things are being added to the multi media site.

I was having a hard time waking up this morning and My wife had Molly Cyrus blasting on the TV. Molly was the guest singer on the Today show this morning and a whole bunch of her young, enthusiastic, fans were trying to keep up with the song being sung, mouthing the words and singing along.

Me: "It's too early for Molly Cyrus."

Wife: "Oh, you know who she is? I guess she has been on everything lately."

Me: "Yes and she's one of the richest kids under eighteen. I think she's only fifteen."

Right then Al Rocker told Molly she's only fifteen and how does she do all the things she does at that age. Her fans screamed loudly as Molly Tried to answer Al.

Right then also, my wife decide to update me with the latest goings on at Hulu.

Wife: "They are showing five nature films on Hulu. Farts, The Serengeti and ..."

Trying to be heard over Al and Molly and screaming fans - Me: "Farts?"

A long Pause.

Wife: "Sharks!"

Me - "Oh. I thought maybe they would show different animals as they passed Gas. Elks, zebra and lions and then goats, cows, and buffalo. Then of course, the rare Chicken Fart. Watch as we sneak up on the rear of this White plumed chicken as she cuts loose right for our cameras."

Wife walking by, shaking her head. "No Dear, Sharks."

Me: "I was thinking it would be hard to do a full film on such a subject. Maybe just an hour long documentary on Farting animals. That would probably work."

Charlie Chaplin was amazing as well.





I think this lady is cwazy.



And this whole site is cwazy.

Ok, I first got to know this guy as Magnum PI. He lived in Hawaii and drove a friggin' Lamborghini, for christ sake. He'd get shot at and solve cases where sometimes murder was involved. Well, I know am watching him on Craig Ferguson's talk show and he's laughing like a little girl. He just got through saying he's 6'4" tall and then he lets out this wimpy, nasally, snicker of a school girl titter.


Wow.

#####################################################################
I had this crazy idea to find a picture of a school girl and try to morph Tom into one, but instead ending up, through Google, finding a whole underworld involving school girls. I feel so dirty right now.
#####################################################################





Not sure how this ends but it looks interesting.